He was abandoned when our neighbor moved and we found him roaming our street. He was a big dog and we were newly married living in a very small house with other pets, but he needed rescuing so we took him in.

From the moment this four year old 80 lb. Rottweiler/Shepherd mix stepped foot into our house, he turned it into a home. Our other pets were afraid but Tyson won them over with his gentle manner. He was playful, obedient and submissive - perfect in every way. But what made Tyson so special? Tyson took our breath away. He was always loving, gentle, patient and obedient. It seems that everyone who met Tyson, whether they liked dogs or not, fell in love with him. Tyson would be invited to come with us when we visited people. He truly had animal magnetism. When he would look at you, you knew he understood what you were feeling and he responded accordingly. He was always there to comfort us when times were tough. Tyson taught our three other dogs how to play and how to listen to mom and dad. And he remained a puppy into his old age. Tyson lived to be just shy of seventeen. We wish we could have our time with him all over again. The love and joy that he brought into our lives cannot be measured. EVER! We once thought he needed us and we rescued him. Turns out it was the other way around. Tyson truly was the shine in our lives and that shine will never dim as we cherish our memories of our time with him.

Here is a timely heartwarming conversation I had with my 3-year-old in the mini-van on the way back from preschool.

“Mama can I go down the sink?”

“What? You want to play in the sink when we get home?”

“No, can I go down the sink? Down nah drain?”

“No, you won’t fit down the drain. Besides, I would miss you.”

“Mama go down the drain?”

“No, Honey, Mama won’t fit down the drain either. I’m too big.”

“Where do you fit, Mama?” Good question, I thought.

“I don’t know where I fit sometimes sweetheart.”

“Where do I fit?” he asked.

“You fit in my arms and in my heart just right no matter how big you get.”

“You fit in my heart too, Mama.”

Over simplifying the issues, I know, but it brings me back to one of the truths in my life that gives me enormous joy and perspective. The only place we really need to fit in this world, is in the arms and hearts of those you love.

The rest of my talk with my toddler was not so enlightening and went like this:

“A digger! I see a digger! Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, my extra mater!” The last bit is a song that actually ends with the word “excavator,” but I plan to sing his version tonight to try to get him to eat some tomatoes for dinner.

For now, I find myself waiting on direction from God, while fitting perfectly in the arms of my babes.

He always encourged you to do your best. He would say “That is all I can ask of you”.

He was always an inspiration in my life.

He has really been missed.

I am sure there is a big star shining for him.

I was having doubts already about Kondinskoe, Siberia. “How can people live here?” I wondered. And then I saw him. He was about my height, or maybe he would’ve been if it wasn’t for the hump underneath his old army jacket. Dragging his left leg behind him he walked towards us with his arms wide open. And there they were….. His eyes. I have never seen so much love, humbleness and peace in anybody’s eyes.

Vanya, that was his name. He’s been a missionary on the lonely Siberian island for five years now. He kept raving on and on about the car they were able to purchase with the money our church had send them as he loaded up our suitcases into the trunk. He insisted on walking behind the car as to the fact that there was simply not enough room. “Why is he so thankful for this thing?” I wondered, as he told me to watch out for the door opening on the turns.

With bewilderment I listened to the stories his wife told me about the people of the village. How they spread rumors about Vanya sacrificing his own child and being into with craft. The cold stares and hatred they had to endure. The conversations in hushed tones as soon as they entered a room…

As I watched him help out the people that days ago threatened to put his house on fire, I began to understand the true meaning of ’love’. The joy in his eyes in the morning and evening of each and every day was indescribable. During those three weeks I learned more about forgiving and loving your enemies then I have my whole entire life. There is no question about it, Vanya makes me SHINE. He is the true symbol of love and forgiveness.

a thousand lights make the streets bright
as I’m stumbling home this new york city night
and I’ve tried you know, but I can’t deny
I love the way you make me shine

A family reunion is always a carnival, at the very least. There’s my father, Dave (the conservative) debating with my uncle John (the liberal) over Anne Coulter’s How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must) –my father’s ironic Christmas present to John last year. In the corner, my cousin Paul, complete with a bowtie, chats with me, donning surfer clothing, the about co-op dorm he lives in at University of California, Berkeley and the existentialism of college. Then, always the life of the party, is my cousin Gretchen helping (or sneaking chocolate from) my Aunt Linda in the kitchen.

Why she is the life of the party in this group is particularly important –it would seem a truly interesting task for anyone. When one enters the room, the first to holler, with the brightest, shiniest grin, giggle, and snort (yes, she still snorts at almost 40), is my cousin Gretchen. She is the sparkiest among the sparkplugs which complete my family circus, the nuttiest of the nuts, and the monkiest of the entire barrel of monkeys –and she loves it.

Gretchen is extremely successful in her field, bakes incredibly, and somehow also manages to be the sunshiniest person I know. With a sprite, “Well, hi there!” it’s uphill after that. She is the only person I know who can attract anyone with a giggle and a snort, and then lunge into a discussion on the social ramifications of elderly care. I’ve given up on taking her anywhere because Gretch’s squeaky, happy mantra makes all kinds follow us in droves. Like others, every time with her I aspire to be a better me –because of her spunky shine.

But I met Blackie. A tiny three-colored ordinary tahitian female-cat. Her mother died some days after her birth, she was hungry and motherless. I adopted her.

And Blackie had an accident. It was inevitable !

After her death I was inconsolable, crying day and night. I had in mind her bright blue eyes, funny pointing tail and never ending meowing. Yes, I think you understand, Blackie was kind of first love pet of my own.

She died as every single living creature is vowed to do. Leaving me in an absolute despair. Family, friends, chocolate bars, nothing could replace her lost.

On the second day of her death and coming from nowhere, a little gray puffy kitten jumped up my bed. In the beginning, completely absorbed by my pain, I didn’t even noticed his presence. Determined to enter in contact with me, he gently patted my cheek with his tiny paws.

Surprised I opened my eyes and met his sweet eyes starring at me. Not understanding and too grieved to pay attention to this apparition, I kept on weeping. Determined but delicate he tapped my cheek, again.

At that moment I took a deep breath and told him : “What do you want ? Where do you come from ?”. Instinctively he snuggled up to me and started to purr. I was paralyzed not knowing what to do with this unknown strange kitten coming from nowhere. But his little green eyes and his purr were so soothing that instinctively I started to carress him, too.

We were there, snuggled up to each other, without a word in this sharing silence. Exhausted by my grief I fell asleep.

I think I dreamt of Blackie, I’m not sure. Sure is that when I woke up little kitten was there happy to see me smile again. “You’re so sweet, Angel kitten”, I told him. And gave him some cat food.

Life is extraordinary !

Me? I am inspired by great dancing, bad dancing, and light dancing off water. By lovers who look into my eyes, lock into my fingers, luck into my life, and equally by their departures of backs turned and turn-backs. By colors, ocean and ladybug and night and cloud, by dazzles, by sparkles and glitters and twinkles and shimmers. By coruscation and synonyms.

By hands. Holding hands and shaking hands. Sign language and high-fives. A hand in my hair, on my cheek, around my shoulders, pointing, caressing. A left hand with a ring and a wave. A right hand with a pen and a paintbrush. Beautiful, beautiful hands.

Everything shines under the right light, and this is what inspires me. Ocean and ladybug. Coruscation.